A Matter for Public Debate

I work in a high-rise office building.  The workers on my floor are mostly women; only a handful of men.  Despite the fact there is a restroom on every floor, men from other floors come to my floor to use the restroom.  They come straight from the stairwell with their newspapers, go into the men’s room, spend at least twenty minutes in there, and then leave directly the way they came.  They have no other business on my floor.  It’s always the same group of four or five old, fat guys. 

A couple weeks ago, I go in there and the fattest one, I think he’s the ringleader, he’s camped out in there.  He comes out of the stall and our eyes meet.  This isn’t the first time.  He knows that I know that he doesn’t work on my floor.  He knows I’m on to him.  He feels compelled to offer an unsolicited explanation.  He says, “The bathroom is so much nicer on your floor.”  Nicer?  What the hell does that mean?

You know they don’t walk multiple flights of stairs to take a piss.  They visit my floor for one reason only: taking the Browns to the Super Bowl.  How much “nicer” would my restroom be without daily performances by the Traveling Dingleberries?

This guy acts like he’s discovered an oasis in the desert.  And the fat ass just couldn’t keep it to himself.  He had to tell four other nasty fat guys where the best the place to go is.  I picture him chastising some dude for using the toilet on his own floor: “What are you doing man??  Go to the 10th floor for that.  It’s much nicer.”

Can I get a ruling on this?  Is any restroom in a 30-floor building fair game?  Shouldn’t people have to use the closest bathroom to their desk like they use the nearest exit during a fire drill?


  1. They prolly need the exercise. Hope they dont Dump-n-Dial…

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